Author: Erica [heterophiliac] & Jen [blackemorose]
Rating: PG-13 at the moment, will probably raise
Pairing: None at the moment, future Ryden, Peterick, Treckett, Treckgabe, and many, many more
Summary: “Will you get dressed and come to my house? I’m having a meeting. I know you’re not doing anything because you answered with the Charlie the Unicorn voice, so get over here a-sap, okie dokie?”
Disclaimer: We own nothing in this fic. Duh.
Author Notes: This idea was brought up around two AM and turned into something much bigger than we expected. heterophiliac writes Ryan and Brendon, blackemorose writes William, Gabe and Travis.
X-posted like a mofo.
I’ve always hated modern technology. Computers don’t bother me as much, but telephones are my worst enemy. How can one have a personalized conversation if you can’t see the person’s face? It all seems sort of distant to me. Not saying I’m a people person, but I’d rater be talking to someone face to face then over a line that the government could easily listen in on. I wonder if people think of that when they’re having phone sex.
So when I got phoned at seven o’clock in the evening and had Pete Wentz scream in my ear, my distaste for phones heightened. Of course, I couldn’t blame Pete, I had to blame the technology that he seemed to love like none other.
I swear, if it was possible, Pete Wentz could wake the dead and make them dance.
“Pete.” I suppose we might want to get our names out of the way, it’s only polite.
“Get your skinny ass over to my house pronto! We have an emergency!”
If there is one thing I ever learned about Pete was that if he said emergency, it meant his hair wouldn’t go in the right way or he couldn’t find his favorite hoodie.
“Check under your bed. I’m sure whatever you’re looking for is under there.” He actually sighed in a frustrated manor at me, like I was the one that was annoying him!
“No! William! I’m serious! Get over here right now!” I can’t believe I was actually reaching for my shoes. The things I do for Pete Wentz.
“Take your beer bottle with you if you must, but hurry the fuck up! Even Travis is gonna be here.” With that last statement I grabbed my keys and left, not even bothering to lock the door.
There’s not a star in heaaaven that we can’t reach
If we’re tryin’
Yeah we’re breakin’ free
Oh we’re breaking free
I was laying on the couch comfortably, eating Ben and Jerry’s Coffee ice cream and watching High School Musical when I got the call. You know when you have a phone call that changed your life? Like, your wife calls to tell you she’s pregnant, your doctor calls to tell you that you have AIDs, some random person calls to tell you that you won the Mega Million jackpot… Yeah. It was almost like that.
Except, you know, it was only Pete Wentz.
Now, don’t get me wrong- I love Pete. I really do. He’s one of my best friends. But I don’t like when I get frantic calls from him, telling me to rush, in my Victoria’s Secret Love Pink sweats and the black hoodie I stole from Brendon- I secretly wondered how Pete knew my whole outfit-, and get my, quote, delicious ass, un-quote, over to his house pronto.
Sometimes that man scared me.
“Come on Ryro, it’s important! Your life and the lives of your future children depend on it!” Pete whined through the earpiece of my Sidekick. “Pleeeease? Please, please, please, please…” He kept repeating that word until I was fed up. Who knew such a polite adverb could be so annoying?
“Fine! Fine. I’ll be there in ten, okay?” I growled out, turning off my DVD player and then the TV, clicking the ‘off’ button on my phone in the middle of Pete talking about how much he loved me. I pulled shoes, pale green Old Navy flip flops, and grabbed my key ring, the one with the mini-lava lamp key charm and turned off the lights, locking the door behind me, planning to go to Pete’s house, insult him a bit, then go home and continue my movie.
Boy was I wrong.
“Aw! Come on, Travis! Where’s your happy voice?” Pete. Pete fucking Wentz. If he didn’t remind me of an elf, I would kill him.
“Not here. Look, I’m busy. I’ll call you back later.” I almost got to hanging up but he practically screams on the other end.
“You can’t! You need to drop whatever you’re doing and get over here!” Damn the boy can whine.
“I’m on a date, Pete. I’ll call you later.” I sigh, once again reaching for the little red button.
“It’s an emergency!” He just never stops.
“Have Patrick help you. I’m on a date. I will call you later.” He muttered something along the lines of ‘I’ll send my clone army after you’ and I knew that he had spent some time with Joe and his stash again.
“Travis! Get over here right now!”
Pete Wentz has an extremely annoying voice sometimes. I don’t think he realizes that when I said ‘no’ I meant no. But he just keeps pushing and pushing.
“I’m on a date.” I hiss once again in the phone. Layla, the girl that was lucky enough to obtain my number, sits across the table from me – not amused.
“Travis! Get off the phone!” she hisses, tapping her extremely long nails on the table. Nails, I thought, if I got lucky, would be scratching down my back by the end of this night.
“Get the fuck over here! It’s an emergency!” Pete once again is screaming in my ear.
“Why? What happened?” I sigh, holding up a finger to Layla, pretending my chances of getting laid aren’t flying out the window.
“It’s William.” I hate how his voice suddenly goes extremely serious and deep. It makes my heart soar into my throat.
“W-What?” I shake my head at Layla, frowning deeply.
“It’s William. I can’t tell you over the phone. Just get over here.”
I don’t even say anything to her, just throw some money on the table and leave.
“Hello, my name is Brendon Urie, and I’m addicted to Charlie the Unicorn.” I said aloud to myself, the sing-song voice in my head responding with a chime of “Hello, Brendon! Let’s go to Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain, Brendon!”
I really needed to stop watching this video.
I was sitting in my apartment on my computer, in the dark, watching the Charlie the Unicorn video for the… Twenty-third time tonight. Now seriously, it wouldn’t be too bad if I was fully dressed and joking around with my best friend or something, but no. I’m sitting here in my Scooby-Doo Christmas boxers, sorting a pack of Skittles by color, and watching Charlie the Unicorn for the twenty-fourth time.
I wish someone would call and save me from myself.
After two more viewings of that damned video, I suppose the magical Liopleurodon answered my prayers, because my phone rang and startled me so much I fell out of my chair, the black wheeled seat flipping over on top of me.
I groaned and scrambled up to grab the phone, answering in a voice not unlike the unicorns’.
“Hello?” I coughed, clearing my voice of the sing-songyness. “I mean, hello?” Phew, back to normal.
“Brenny bear!” I heard Pete coo into the phone. Dare I say Pete Wentz was my savior?
“Yeah, Pete?” I asked, wondering what this mad man wanted with me. I wasn’t being a test dummy for any of his crazy schemes anymore. Not after he somehow made my… I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just say that something that shouldn’t be glowing was glowing for a week.
“Will you get come over my house? I’m having a meeting. I know you’re not doing anything because you answered with the Charlie the Unicorn voice, so get over here a-sap, okie dokie?” He sounded so sweet and sincere, I smiled.
“Alrighty. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes, I gotta get dressed.” I said, hearing Pete laugh on the other end.
“You don’t have to get dressed, Brenny!”
I am a blessed individual. I am one with the cobra. It’s venom lives in me. It has granted me and blessed me with the skills of dance and music. Even now, as I sit in my extremely dark apartment, I can feel it. Feel the connection that I have to the starship. It’s what fuels me to meditate this way.
Sure, when I bought the silk golden thong, I felt uncomfortable. But once I sunk down and began to meditate I realized that this is what was meant to be. The clover incense brought a calm aroma to the air. It has become even more evident when I heard Adam, the Cobra. It was amazing the connection I felt. I just had this surge of power. I was drawn to it and knew that this was my destiny.
Cobra with Two Legs…
No, this is the fucking Easter Bunny.
“What happened to Adam?”
Sarcasm was never your strong point, was it?
“You sound oddly familiar. Are you sure you’re not Adam?”
Back to business. We have things to plan.
“Okay… Is this gonna hurt me again?”
No… Pete will let you do it.
It is not a pleasant thing to interrupt me while I’m meditating. Who ever is calling has now angered the cobra and the cobra with two legs.
“Talk.” I snarled into the phone after digging it out of my pants that lay discarded on the floor. I had gotten into the habit of wearing the golden thong so that I could meditate anytime the starship would seem fit to call on me.
“Gabey!” I don’t remember a time when I was actually angry with Pete, but this probably was pretty close to the first.
“You interrupted my meditating!”
“I’m sorry but what I have to say has more importance than your cobra talking.”
“It’d better be.”
“It is! But you have to get over here!”
“Why can’t you just tell me over the phone?”
“’Cause I want to see your face light up with excitement, my friend”
“Fine. I’m coming.”
“Oh, and Gabe?”
“Yes?” I sighed, blowing out the candles and incense that had helped me focus.
“Wear nothing or just your pants. No one wants to see your golden masterpiece”
Damn Pete Wentz and his uncanny ability to guess what we all are wearing.