Author: Erica [heterophiliac] & Jen [blackemorose]
Rating: PG-13, will probably raise
Pairing: None at the moment, future Ryden, Peterick, Treckett, Treckgabe, and many, many more
Summary: “See you kids in an hour!” I called, pushing the group out and closing and locking the door behind them, grinning at myself in the mirror beside the door.
“Wentz, you’re a genius. A beautiful, talented genius.”
Disclaimer: We own nothing in this fic. Duh.
Author Notes: All right, round two. This chapter was all heterophiliac, beta'd by thee_kayleee.
Previous Chapters: One
X-posted like a mofo.
I grinned as I snapped my phone shut after the last call was made. Soon, my plan would be acted out, soon I would rule the world.
Well, not quite. That’s actually the project of the month for November, I still have some ways to go until then. And I still need to find where they sell pickled catfish. No one seems to sell it!
I hear a car roll into the driveway, stopping at the top as I knew they would. It sounded like… Brendon. Phil. Doctor Phil. Stop wondering, because you won’t find out. Five sharp knocks followed by two rings of the doorbell- undoubtedly Brendon. He was always so impatient.
I strolled down the hallway, pausing at the broad mirror to look at myself, grinning and winking at the gorgeous man who copied me. Damn, I’m fine.
Another sharp ring from the doorbell brought me out of the thoughts I held of seducing myself, mouthing to my reflection, “Call me!”, before opening the door, grinning at Brendon. He had an impatient look on his face, but when he looked away from the door bell and saw me, he matched my grin.
“What’s up, Petey?” he asked, inviting himself into my abode. He took his shoes off near the door, strolling away and into the kitchen without even waiting for my answer. I mean really, why did he knock when he would just waltz into my house and take my last can of Sunkist from the fridge. That son-of-a-whore!
“Oh, nothing really. You?” I responded politely. Remember, Wentz, you like Brendon. He’s a good kisser.
“Same. You so saved me from myself at home, I was going on loop twenty-eight of that video.” He sighed, passing me and kissing my cheek as he went into my living room, sitting down on the couch, snapping open the top of his soda and taking a drink as Hemmy waddled up to him, grinning in that way only dogs could when Brendon began to rub his back.
“So who’s coming to this little shindig or whatever?” Brendon asked. Ah, my meeting. My very important meeting.
“Well, Me. You. Ryan.-” I saw his eyes light up at the sound of his band mate’s name. Seriously, I’m going to hook those two up, and I’d better be the best man at their Massachusetts wedding. “-Gabe. Travis. Aaaaand.” I paused, pointing to the door as it opened, revealing the last person on my mental checklist. “William. That’s about it.”
William looked at me quizzically as I said his name, strolling down the hallway, not taking his mangy boots off and getting millions of dirt particles and bacteria and god knows what else on my gorgeous cream carpet. My cheek twitched, William raising an eyebrow at me as he sat on one of the couch arms.
“Pete, you okay?”
“P-peachy, Bill. Could you go put your shoes by the door?” I asked, unintentionally stuttering. He nodded slowly, looking at me oddly as he went back and untied his laces, lining his boots up with Brendon’s Converse as the younger singer slurped loudly on his soda, making Hemmy pant and wiggle excitedly. I swear, that dog is as easily entertained as he is.
“So, Wentz. Why are we here?” William asked, always one to get down to business. He replaced himself on his perch on the armrest, staring at me, expecting an answer. He wasn’t getting one until everyone was here.
“I’ll tell you when everyone gets here, ‘kay Becky?” I crooned, grinning. Brendon giggled- I kid you not, he giggled- when William sent me a glare.
“Pete, don’t call me Becky.” he said venomously. I couldn’t help but blow a raspberry at him. The doorbell gave a shrill ring. We looked at one another in a circle before I decided how we would do this.
“COME ON IN! THE DOOR’S OPEN!” I called, Brendon cackling with amusement- I forgot he wasn’t allowed to have caffeine- and William wincing, but the door opened and Gabe sauntered in calmly, his mandals being slipped off with the other shoes before he glided down the hallway, looking ultimately very calm and collected. Very Gabe like.
“Peter,” he began smoothly, once he was standing next to where William was seated, giving both him and Brendon curt nods and receiving their own greetings, a “hey” from William and the lifting of a soda can from Brendon. “Why did you disrupt my meditation to come here?”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and sigh. Jeez, didn’t these people have patience?!
“Gabe, when everyone gets here, I’ll tell you.” I replied calmly, matching his own tone. He just nodded and took a seat on the floor, crossing his legs Indian style. I hoped he didn’t begin meditating and stripping to that horrid gold thong of his, I don’t know if my, I mean, Brendon’s virgin eyes could handle it.
I didn’t even know Travis was here until he was rushing through the door, the light conversation we were having about the balmy weather coming to a halt at the sight of his wild afro and wide eyes, those eyes falling on William and I immediately felt a pang of guilt for lying to him.
“Pete!” he growled. “I thought you said-”
“April Fools?” I tried pathetically, it going silent for a few awkward moments before Brendon burst out with laughter, pinching his nose and holding his mouth at the same time, trying to keep the soda from coming out.
“A-A-April Fools!” he cried hysterically, the look William, Travis, Gabe and I giving him being identical. And where was his keeper, Ryan Rossy? He was five minutes later than he said he would be.
“Take a seat,” I offered to Travis. “You’ll find out why I called you after Ryan gets here.” I explained, the man gruffly sitting down next to William, making both him and Brendon bounce up a little with the force. I didn’t get on him for his shoes because, honestly, I was afraid he’d beat me up if I did.
Minutes began to tick by in silence, save for the sound of each of our breaths, Hemmy snorting as Brendon rubbed his stomach, and the one moment when Gabe let out an eerie hiss, earning awkward stares from all of us. I was beginning to get worried, actually. Ryan did have a tendency to get distracted while driving. What if he…?
I head the door shut and someone kick their shoes off softly, turning and expecting to see Ryan’s lanky form, a lazy grin on his face, armed with a story about how horrible traffic was. But alas, it wasn’t him. It was Patrick, and he had a half amused, half upset look on his face.
“Oh, so you’re gonna throw a party without me?” He pouted. I wanted to get up and just go snuggle him and pet him and feed him chocolates and watch Reese Witherspoon movies with him and… I’m going to stop before I get too creepy. He just looked cute, we’ll leave it there.
“No! It’s a meeting. I forgot to call you, Patty.” I reasoned, putting on my best puppy dog pout face. I heard Gabe snicker as Pat stared me down, arms crossed over his chest before he gave a lopsided smile.
“Forgiven. You’re lucky my ‘Pete senses’ were tingling.” He said in a faux-petulant voice. I heard the door open one last time, turning and seeing Ryan’s form slipping off his flip flops, turning towards us. He had a large Styrofoam cup in his hand and a confused look, confused about why everyone was staring at him, on his face.
“Um, hi?” he said stiffly. I stood up and marched over to him, intent on giving him hell.
“Ryan Ross! Why were you so late? Why didn’t you call? I was worried! I thought you swerved off the road to avoid a pack of field mice eating the corpse of Mary, Queen of the Scotts, and ended up unconscious in a ditch or something!” I cried. It was completely logical, at least to me.
The stares I received told me otherwise.
Ryan took this time to walk across the carpet and sit down next to Brendon, so close that he’d probably be more comfortable on his lap. One of Brendon’s arms automatically went across the back of Ryan’s shoulders, the other going for Ryan’s drink, the younger getting a scolding quickly.
“Sorry, B. It’s a coffee milkshake. None for you.” Ryan said in a motherly tone. Brendon pouted, going to grab his soda. I saw Ryan’s eyes widen and instantly kicked myself in my pretty ass.
“Pete, you let him have soda!? You know caffeine makes him go berserk!” Ryan admonished. It was weird how someone eight years younger than me could make me feel like I was eight years old. I pulled up the puppy dog pout round two.
“But, he just came in here and opened it and started drinking it! I couldn’t stop him, it would be wasteful for me to make him dump it out.” I had him there. He sighed and nodded, petting the singer’s arm while he was still docile. Fer serious, they were too cute.
I heard Travis clear his throat and I turned to look at him.
“So, why are we here, Wentz? I was in the middle of a date.” I saw a flash of hurt go across William’s face momentarily. I drew in a deep breath.
“You see, Travis. It came to me in a dream. I was walking along a beach, one I’ve never seen before, and suddenly Bill Cosby was there, rising from the waves. He strode over to me, head held high, and opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was multicolored confetti. After that I woke up, and I knew what Bill was going to tell me.” I paused dramatically. I could see William looking to Ryan., wondering which one should call the loony bin.
“What was he going to tell you?” Gabe asked, leaning towards me. At least someone was interested in my epic dream.
“He was going to tell me to bring us as a family unit together. You see, Gabe, you’re all like… Different flavors of pie, and I’m the buyer. I want you all, but only have enough for one of you. So I want all of you together, but you’re all different flavors and would probably taste weird together. So I’m making you one flavor.” I explained. They looked at me with a blank expression, William pulling out his cell phone. I needed to act quick.
“William, put your phone away. I’m not crazy. Let me explain.” I pleaded, and he looked indecisive for a moment before putting the rhinestone stickered Sidekick back into his jacket pocket. I sighed with relief.
“See, William, you’re like… Pumpkin pie- sugar, spice, and everything nice. Plus, you taste better with whipped cream.” A well placed wink followed, triggering a blush from my Amazon-like friend.
“Bren, you’re like… Cherry pie. Everyone loves you and, like cherries, you love being on top.” A grin followed from both me and Brendon and I could see Ryan look away from Patrick’s laughing eyes.
“Patty, you’re apple pie. Because you’re sweet and an All-American treat.” He rolled his eyes and I had to scoff. Oh come on, that was a compliment!
“Ry, you’re like French Silk pie. All elegant and yummy and the perfect desert.” Cue a second wink and a second eye roll. Can’t anyone take me seriously?! I wanted to go stomp up into my room and cry. But that’s immature. I’m a big boy.
“Travis, you’re cheesecake. People don’t think you’re pie, but you totally are. You’re good with anyone and anything, and at any time.” Travis grinned and gave the third eye roll. At least he was amused.
“Ooh! What am I? What am I?”
“Gabe, if you didn’t interrupt me…” I scolded. I hated being interrupted. When The Wentz is speaking, no one interrupts The Wentz. It’s the golden rule. He put on a sorry face and said a silent apology before I continued.
“Gabe, you’re like a pot pie. Filled with stuff you usually wouldn’t find in a pie, but tastefully put together to create something all of your own.” I said, Gabe beaming. I was good at making the crazies happy.
There was a long silence before anyone spoke up.
“Pete, what the hell does it all mean? It’s great we’re pie and all, but I don’t see why you couldn’t have told us that over the phone or something.” Sometimes I think William thinks too much. He needs a Xanax or something.
“Isn’t it obvious? We’re going on a road trip! We’re renting an RV and we’re all gonna stay in it and go around the U.S and bond!” I explained gleefully. But the looks on everyone else’s faces didn’t seem too happy.
Uh-oh. Think fast, Wentz.
“And you guys have no choice. I already rented the motor home. I’m gonna give you guys an hour to go home and pack and stuff before we leave. I’ll call you when I swing by with the RV, I’m already packed.” I proceeded in pulling everyone up and ushering them to the door. I wasn’t giving them the option to protest.
“See you kids in an hour!” I called, pushing the group out and closing and locking the door behind them, grinning at myself in the mirror beside the door.
“Wentz, you’re a genius. A beautiful, talented genius.”